Her Mistake

I chose a seat closet to the door because the second I entered, I wanted to back

out badly. Just the smell of the waiting room made me nauseous. Jenny sat beside me and then,

with a nervous hand, filled out the necessary papers. Once finished, she turned them into the nurse

at the front desk. Looking around, I stopped and smiled sadly at Jenny as my hand clenched in

hers.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? You still have a while before you

have to decide."

She looked at me and shook her head no, then her glance returned to the floor. I

could not blame her. She was petrified even to look around at all the other people. I couldn't do it,

at least not yet.

I prayed silently, hoping she would change her mind. I remembered the times she

would always act so serious and in the end she would just be kidding around. By the deep remorse

she expressed, I knew this was not one of those moments. A blond hair nurse opened the door

beside the front counter and called out Jenny's name. Jenny stood up, as did I. I hugged her and

whispered pleadingly into her ear.

"Please don't do this."

Taking a deep breath, she broke away from my hold. Letting out a quiet sigh,

went away. She walked toward the door without looking back.

I sat, this time alone. On the wall in front of me was a colorful poster of the growth

of an unborn baby. My stomach tightened and I looked away quickly.

A girl about sixteen years old came into the waiting room. She sat down and

looked around the room. She turned one way and then seconds later, she would change her

position. The young girl did this at least six times before she finally seemed comfortable. Minutes

had passed and each time I looked over there, she would give a brief smile. The next time she

smiled, a distressed look came over her face. She jumped out of her chair and then sprinted toward

the restroom with her hand covering her mouth.

Seeing this act for the first time, I was shocked and I tried vainly to find something

to take my mind off the girl. Also, to escape the tormenting thoughts of what my best friend was

doing. I picked up a folded pamphlet that had been left under the chair in front of me. On the

cover, it read, "Did you know a baby's heart starts to beat after the third week of conception?"

I thought to myself, "Jenny's baby is six weeks along." The heart was beating. I

wondered if Jenny knew any of this.

A tall red haired lady came in and sat down in front of me. She turned to face me

and grinned. "Is this your first time?"

"I'm just waiting for my friend," I replied, somewhat amused by all of her energy

and pep.

"Well, this is my third one, plus I've had one miscarriage. It don't hurt too bad."

Quite stunned by her statement, I got up and hurried to another yellow chair. I felt

sick and thought the lady was disgusting. I noticed my hands were shaking and my forehead was

sweating. I went to the bathroom and splashed water over my face. The coolness of the water

seemed to make my whole face tingle.

As I looked at myself in the large mirror that hung on the wall in front of me, I saw

that my face was very white. My knees were weakening under the heaviness of my mixed

emotions. I didn't want to be here. It was all so confusing. My feelings about what Jenny was doing

and our binding friendship. She was my friend, and even though I disagreed with what she had

chosen, she still needed me.

I left the bathroom and almost sat down when the woman behind the second

counter told me I could go in and see Jenny. I whispered a hoarse thank you and walked to the

door Jenny had gone through.

"Honey, you can use the door further down the hall. She's in the resting room."

I pulled the door open and walked through. The lights were dim and offered a

serene feeling of comfort. Single beds lined the walls in two opposite rows, each with a curtain to

hide behind.

I walked slowly down the aisle until I stopped at Jenny's quarters.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, unsure of what to say.

"Like a murderer," she replied as she sniffed back a few tears.

The doctor came in and told us she should probably rest for about thirty minutes.

"She's very groggy."

I wondered if he had heard Jenny's remark. It didn't seem as if even cared though.

"I shouldn't have done it. I feel so awful." She moved closer to me. "I tried to get

the doctor to stop, but he said it was too late."

"I know." I rubbed her back gently as the wetness blurred my sight. I swallowed

whatever was stuck in my throat. I wanted so badly to make everything better for her, but I knew I

couldn't. There was nothing she could do now but go on with her life.

Jenny's brother came and picked us up at the corner. Since both my parents were

gone, she came over to spend the night. I knew that after that experience, I'd never go into another

abortion clinic again. I could barely handle the emotions I endured that day. I really didn't like being

around all those people either. I cried all night after Jenny had finally fallen asleep. Repeatedly, I

prayed to God to forgive Jenny. Somehow, I guess, I believed if God could forgive her, then

maybe I could too.